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Home >> United States & Canada >> Abortion & Social Issues Jenny’s Story-A Tale of Horror and Redemption Jeremy Reynalds, Ph.D. - 2/10/2008 If I’d had to endure the terror-filled life experienced by one of our young clients at Joy Junction I doubt whether I would even be at the place she’s at. Growing UpNineteen-year-old Jenny was born in the mid west. Her father deserted her mother after Jenny was born. For a little while, Jenny said, it was just her and her mother. Her mom had given her older sister up for adoption to her grandmother when she was just nine hours old. After a while, Jenny said, her mother started dating men, sometimes as many as four at a time. Horrifyingly, she would stand idly by and watch them while they punched and hit Jenny. Jenny said she assumed had someone found out and called the police as she went to foster care, which, she said, she doesn’t remember much about. When Jenny was about four years old, she went back to her mom, who was now pregnant again and married to a man called Paul. Jenny recalled, “Paul would come home drunk and beat on me. He wouldn’t touch my mom; just me. I remember he would punch me in the face, kick me in the ribs, pick me up by my hair and throw me into my bed, as well as make me drink dish soap, and I’d get really sick. My mom would laugh when all this was being done to me. The more I would bleed, the harder she would laugh. I didn’t understand. I was four years old. What did I do to be treated so badly?” Jenny said that to Paul and her mom, the whole nightmare was a game, which they didn’t win until Jenny passed out. One day, Jenny said, Paul told her mom that she had to make a choice between Jenny and Paul. She chose Paul, Jenny said. So Jenny, now six, went to live with her grandmother who adopted her. Different Place; More NightmaresInitially, things went better for Jenny. She also got to meet her big sister, two years older than her, to whom she grew close. But everything changed when her grandmother got sick and was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, which grew progressively worse. Jenny was now seven years old and taken to a new place to live. Jenny next went to stay with some of her mom’s old friends, Jasper and Alice. They were nice people, she said, but Jasper had a lot of “anger management issues.” A month went by with them fighting constantly, and things grew worse daily. Jenny said, “One night Jasper came home drunk. They got into another fight because Alice threatened to leave him if he kept drinking. Jasper started hitting Alice and pushing her around. They were cussing at each other, and it scared me. I ran to my room and sat on the floor by the door. Then I heard Jasper scream at her that he was going to kill her. She said, ‘do it!’ Next thing I heard was a gun shot and Alice scream. I jumped up and started crying uncontrollably. I looked out the door. Jasper was gone. I walked over to Alice. She was lying on the floor, and her chest was bleeding really bad. By the time 911 got to us, she was dead. I went back to my grandma and her husband Chris.” Jenny Returns to Her Grandmother’s HouseWhen Jenny went back to her grandmother’s house, she said that Chris started blaming her for her grandmother being sick. He told Jenny that her grandmother was fine until she moved in with them. “He said she was dying because of all the stress I put her through,” Jenny said. “That really hurt my feelings, but he didn’t care. Then Chris started beating on me. Really bad. He would have my sister help him do it too.” Jenny’s grandmother was sick enough for hospice. She was soon diagnosed with kidney cancer. Jenny continued, “On November 28 1998, I and my sister came to see if she was awake yet so we could talk to her. Her eyes were open but she wasn’t moving, And her skin was so cold. Chris told us she was dead. I and my sister cried our eyes out.” Jenny said that while Chris was there for her grandmother, if she wanted anything, it was a different matter. “When I needed him; when I was crying, I got put down and hit,” she said. “After a while, my life became hell. I was nine years old. Chris got real mean. He started punching me, slamming my head into the walls ... shoved me on the ground and kicked me, and he would come up and slap me in the face for just smiling at him.” Jenny said one time when they were in town shopping, Chris got very angry because Jenny said she was sick and wanted to go home. “So he pushed me in front of a car,” Jenny said. “Luckily, the car stopped. He would take pipes and smack me in the face with them. He would hit me with switches, pans, boards; anything he could find.” By this time, Jenny was ten. The fact that she had a birthday party was a surprise, she said. However, another surprise was in the wings when a man walked into the house and asked for the whereabouts of his “baby girl.” Jenny said Chris pointed at her. The man walked up to her, and Jenny learned that he was her biological father. “I asked him why he never called me or came to see me,” Jenny said. His exact words were, ‘I had better things to do.’ I told him I hated him, and wished he were dead. The next day, we got a phone call that he was dead. I was told he committed suicide. But really, my dad and my baby brother died in a car wreck that night. I still feel like it’s my fault though. Maybe he was so mad at what I said that he was driving really fast and wrecked his car.” Jenny said that she also got blamed for her dad’s death, even though he was driving drunk that night. That resulted in more beatings and more abuse. “Chris would only allow me to take a shower once a week,” Jenny said. “Sometimes he would sit in and watch me take showers. I hated that. And other times, he would make me take a bath. He would sit right by the tub and touch me. I felt horrible. He only did that three times, but I still hated it. And as far as eating goes, that was a joke. I was lucky to have one meal every three or four days.” More abuse was to come, Jenny said. One day while she was watching TV, Chris walked in the living room and pushed the TV off the stand. Then he came over and punched her in the face. “When I started crying, he pulled me out of the chair and pushed me onto the ground,” Jenny said. “He started kicking me really hard. When I would cry and tell him to stop, he would kick me harder.” Jenny Finds a ChurchAfter this terrible abuse she suffered, one day Jenny was at home by herself getting ready for school and enjoying a few rare moments of peace. She turned on the TV, and started watching a well known televangelist. After watching him, Jenny decided she wanted to go to church. So after school, she told Chris she was going to do just that. Jenny said, “He made sure I knew what the excuses were for my bruises. He would make me lie to everyone about how I got them. That night, I went to church ... At the end of church, we all had to go to the front to pray. After church, the pastor asked what happened to me and why I was so beat up. I told him that me and my brother got in a lot of fights. I don’t think he fell for it though, because he said he would keep me in his prayers and that if I needed to talk, he would be right there.” When Jenny got home later that night, she said Chris – with a beer in his hand– was on the couch watching a movie. Although Jenny tried to go right to her room, Chris cornered her and asked her what she learned at church. When Jenny told him, his only response was that God is a fake. He then took Jenny’s Bible and burned it. She was devastated that her only source of hope and love was gone. There was even worse abuse and devastation to come, Jenny said. One day Chris took her fishing and pushed her into the lake. At the time, Jenny said, she couldn’t swim. “The water was freezing cold, and since I couldn’t swim, I was panicking,” Jenny said. “Some other guy saw me and jumped in to get me. He asked Chris why he didn’t come get me, and Chris told him that he didn’t know what to do because he was scared of water. This was a complete lie. Chris just sat and watched me freak out, and go under water the whole time. I was so scared, but I was okay.” The next day, Jenny told the school counselor everything that had happened. The counselor just called Chris, told him what Jenny had said, and gave him a warning. Then she sent a very scared Jenny home. “The walk home was eighteen blocks,” Jenny said. “I walked as slow as I could, freaking out the whole way. I wanted to turn around and run away. But I kept thinking, what if Chris finds me? Then what will happen? So I went home.” More AbuseWhen Jenny got home, Chris was standing outside with a dog chain in his hand. Jenny said, “I tried to walk past him, but he grabbed my arm and pushed me onto the ground. Then he started hitting me with the dog chain. I screamed and cried, because it hurt so badly. But the louder I screamed for him to stop, the harder he would hit me. As he was hitting me, I screamed and cried and told him I was sorry. I told him I wouldn’t tell on him again. I told him that I deserved it all, and I kept screaming that I was sorry. But he wouldn’t stop hitting me.” When Chris finally stopped hitting Jenny, she could hardly stand up. She had cuts everywhere but her back was full of open gashes. (It makes me think of how much the Lord Jesus suffered for us). “And if you would see my back now, the scars I have are terrible,” Jenny said. “I was in a lot of pain. I went in my bed and laid there and cried. I cried until I got sick and couldn’t breathe. Then, Chris made me go take a shower. When I got out, he put alcohol all over my cuts. And ... did that hurt. I don’t know why he put alcohol on it. I cried even more when he was putting alcohol on them, and he sat there laughing at me.” Later that night, Chris emphasized what would happen to Jenny if she told on him again. Jenny said, “He pushed me up against the wall and grabbed the steak knife off of the table. And he held it to my throat. I thought my life was over. In a way, I wish he would have done it. So then, this would be the end of my story. But God, I guess, wanted me to grow through even more pain and suffering. He was holding that knife to my neck, pushing it harder and harder. Then the doorbell rang. He went to answer it.” Jenny said she ran to her room, climbed out her window and sprinted to the police station. She told them everything about Chris. The police called Chris, and he came to the police station. He told them Jenny would hurt herself just to get attention. He also told them that he was trying to schedule her to see a counselor. “I was scared with Chris in the same room,” Jenny said. “If I had told them the truth, he probably would have jumped over that table. So I told them that all the bruises and cuts I had done to myself. I said I would get in fights at school just so I would have the bruises.” Jenny went home with Chris, and the cycle of abuse continued. At fifteen, she weighed only fifty pounds because he would not let her eat. One day, Jenny passed out at school and was sent to the hospital. They put a tube down her nose because she was so malnourished. Chris came to the hospital as soon as he was called and told them that no matter how hard he tried, Jenny wouldn’t eat. He told them he didn’t know what to do with her. After she had gained a little weight, they let her go home but told her that a failure to eat would put her back in the hospital for a very long time. Jenny Witnesses a MurderJenny said that Chris started dating a woman called Nancy. Nancy was very nice to Jenny, so the two bonded quickly. Then one day, Chris and Jenny were fighting when Nancy came over. Jenny said, “Nancy watched him punch me and kick me and push me around. He didn’t stop hitting me until my face was bleeding really badly. Nancy told him off and said she was going to the police, and that she would make sure he would go to jail. He told her she wasn’t going anywhere, and he grabbed her and wouldn’t let her go. She fought to get away from him but he wouldn’t let go of her. She kept telling me just to run out that door and never come back. She told me to go to her house and lock the doors and call the police. Chris couldn’t get her to be quiet, so he grabbed a knife and sliced her throat.” Jenny was terrified. She continued to tell her horrific story. “I screamed really loud and started crying. I wanted to run, but I couldn’t move ... That was the worst thing I ever saw in my life. I thought I was the next to go. I didn’t know what to do. In my head I was praying, ‘God please stop this, and stop it now.’ I prayed and cried and was terrified. I still have flashbacks, and I am as scared as when I was there and watched it happen. I wanted to (throw up). One, because of all the blood gushing out and two, because I was so horrified that I was next.” Jenny Returns to Her Mother’s House and the Horror ContinuesJenny ended up returning to her biological mother. The first few weeks with her mother were okay, Jenny said. But that would soon change. One night, alone in the house with her mother and stepfather, her mother and stepfather dragged her into her bedroom Her stepfather told her to take her clothes off and get in bed. Jenny said “no,” but her mother said “now.” Jenny said “no”again, and the abuse followed quickly. “Don punched me in the nose,” Jenny said. “It hurt and bled bad. I think he broke it. Then he dragged me into the bed, took my clothes off and raped me. When I screamed for help, my mom laughed at me. That’s why I hate her. How can a mom do that to a child? If I ever sat and watched my daughter be raped, and I laughed at her, that would be the sickest, meanest, most horrible thing. And I would probably end up killing myself. That’s how bad I would feel. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did that to, not only my child, but any child.” After the rape, Jenny said she felt dirty, embarrassed and total hatred. But she said it wasn’t her stepfather she despised; it was herself for letting the attack happen. She continued, “I still do this. When something bad happens in my life, I always blame myself first before I blame the person who actually made it happen or anyone. But after it was all over, I went and sat in the corner of my room.” Jenny said that her mother and Don went in the living room as though nothing had ever happened. However, things weren’t that easy for Jenny. She started cutting her arms with a safety pin, hoping it would calm her down. However, that didn’t help. Jenny had been cutting herself ever since her dad died, because she felt like his death was her fault. “I took a razor blade and cut six times on my arms,” Jenny said. “Then I felt a little better, but part of me wanted to die. I didn’t want to be here anymore. So I took that razor blade and cut my thigh right above my knee. I bled pretty badly. Then my leg started turning purple and it hurt really badly.” Jenny told her mother what had happened, but she found no sympathy there. Jenny said her mother took her into the bathroom and said, “‘You like to cut? You like to feel pain? I will help you.’ And she took another razor blade and cut my arm twice. Not badly, but it still hurt worse than what I cut on my arm. Then she took me to the hospital. I got stitches in my leg and went home ... and got beaten really badly by Don.” The next morning was another turning point in Jenny’s life. She was getting ready to walk out of the door for school and her mother said, “‘Don’t come home, I don’t want you here! You have ruined my life and you are nothing but a mistake.’” The words slammed into Jenny’s ears. She got mad, went to school and got even more upset, which led to an overdose on seizure medication. She ended up at the hospital. “They made me drink charcoal,” Jenny said. “They took blood every two hours ... They pumped my stomach twice. I hope I never get that done again. Then the next day I was better, but they still had to take blood every four hours. My mom and Don came to the hospital. They were screaming at me, but I didn’t know what they were saying because I was still out of it. But I ended up going back home.” Jenny LeavesWhen Jenny and her mom started fighting and Don stepped in and hit her, that was the final abuse she would endure. Jenny had enough. She said, “‘I’m not taking anymore.’ So I grabbed some of my stuff and left. I went to my friend’s house. She helped me get a bus ticket back to (another city). I moved in with my best friend, and ended up having a baby at 18. I met someone over the Internet and moved to New Mexico. I left my daughter with my best friend because I didn’t know if this would be a safe place.” Joy JunctionJenny finally ended up at Joy Junction. She said, “It’s not that bad of a place. I have friends here, but I also have people who drive me crazy. Right now, I am working on getting my daughter back and I am working on me. I have flashbacks and nightmares, but maybe if I keep praying and having faith like a great friend of mine is teaching me, it all will go away – I hope.” Jenny concluded by saying, “That’s my story. There are people who have had it a lot worse. I wish I could keep that in mind when I feel like cutting. But that’s hard to do sometimes. I’ll just have to keep trying different things and see what works and what doesn’t. And with the help of my family and friends at Joy Junction, especially Jeremy and Roseann and the supervisors, I think I can do that. Like I was told, it won’t happen overnight, but slowly things will eventually get better. I guess I just have to have faith in myself and God.” We’re blessed to have Jenny staying with us. Our prayer is that as she draws closer to Jesus the scars and emotional trauma of the last nineteen years will be healed by His unfathomable love, and be replaced by an ever increasing sense of her own value and purpose in Jesus Christ. |
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